Scat Phone Sex: Clean Devon’s Shitty Fingers

Hello Phone Sex Deviants. Has this ever happened to you where you buy the wrong toilet paper? Sounds rather like and odd question to bring up in a blog but those who are into bathroom fetishes and well scat phone sex topics are going to revel in what I have to say.

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I had accompanied my friend to Costco, she happened to be doing some purchasing for a office party that she got put in charge of. To be honest I really thought she was taking me some where for lunch and boom we end up in this warehouse of consumer chaos. I have never been one to enjoy such places. Give me a quaint little market any day. The size of this place is insane!

The moment we stepped in and see the racks and racks of good piling over my head. I wanted to get out of there. Tried to tell her knew of this little store down town that would set her up with food but she said she was on the thinnest budget ever. Got to love office budgets.

So against my better judgement we went in. I truly do not belong in there wearing my black platform mary jane shoes, black fishnet stockings, short sleeve blood red dress with the random silver zipper adornments and the fishnet knit sweater. Top it off my strawberry blond hair is currently sporting the “I just got fucked and couldnt be bothered to find a brush” look.

You know this phone slut got a few looks. Mostly from the  Stepford wive’s with their cookie cutter bleach blonde hair and LuLu Lemon Yoga gear. Fuck do they ever stare and pass judgement whole wearing their “I have never seen a yoga studio” pants.

Up and down these aisle we went pushing the biggest cart I have ever seen. Sure there are some insane deals I will give here but I was not going to cave to consumerism. Must support the small business. That is what I have always been about. That is till we hit the toilet paper aisle. Fuck my mind was trapped on the need for 30 ass rolls. I mean who needs that kind of toilet paper?

Well when you have a girlfriend in your ear going oh its a good deal Devon go for it. I mean ugh. I caved. I conformed I bought a pack of 30. Totally hanging my head in shame right now over that. It wasnt bad enough that I bought it but that the stupid toilet paper isnt the right thickness. So here is where the bathroom fetish and scat phone sex guys will come in.

I am sitting on the toilet looking at the umpteen rolls and dove into the first one. Its not covering my hand properly. Its not the right thickness. Go to whip my ass. Yes you guess it. Fucking shit all over my hand cause my finger poked through and was basically finger fucking my shitty ass.

This is what I get for breaking my support the little business. So I am going around with shit, scat, poo fucking embedded in my finger nails. What is worst is that I have 30 rolls in which to use. Yes I could get rid of them to the needy but really I feel that I have to punish myself for cracking. To giving into the pressure.

That and well it is rather hot to be looking at my shit stained fingers while on a scat phone sex call. The aroma is extra intoxicating when on a call.

Devon Smith your scat phone sex whore.

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Nasty Phone Sex Whore Devon

Hello Fellow Nasty Phone Sex Deviants.

Where do I begin?

Suppose I could start with the nasty phone sex calls which have been exceptionally filthy as of late. Its almost like everyone decided it was ok to let their inner nasty freak out. I am not complaining at all for I love it when you get in touch with your nasty phone sex side for it makes thing far more interesting. I rather hate when guys call who beat around the bush about what interests them. Like saying they are a filthy phone freak is going to turn me off. If you had read and of my blog posts at all you would be able to understand that the sickest and most vile of sexual fantasies are what truly gets my shaved cunny wet.

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I can’t say why. I have just always been that way. It probably goes back to my distaste for the cheer squad and all those blonde barbie wanna be’s constantly giving their boyfriend blow jobs and telling everyone how nasty they are by taking their cocks in between their pink glossy bubble gum tasting lips. Mean while those girls were off doing their rah rahs at practice their boyfriends were hunting me down so they could really get their rocks off. Fucking my ass and laughing how they were going to get their cheerleader girl friends to suck their dirty dicks after we fucked. Just so they could make those girls be only half as nasty as I was.

So really you can see its no surprise that I ended up doing nasty phone sex for there are just somethings people frown upon doing in actual sex but on the phone you can do and talk about anything. It was like coming home to my kindred fucked up spirit, finding like minded kinky fuckers on the phone.

When your ready for a girl who understands that your nasty side cant be tamed for very long ( I know mine cant!) Give me a call. I shall be around for the most taboo of your sexual desires.

Devon Smith,  your nasty phone sex whore.

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Spoiled Brat Phone Sex Princess Bree

Totally love how you fat fucks think you could get with a hot bratty phone sex princess like me. Honestly? Ok so like most the fat dudes in the mall have no idea I am a phone sex princess but like really? You think that walking by and complimenting me will have you sitting in your lap calling you papi?

Hell No!

I have my standards and really a dude who can name every super hero created and video game known to man aint the top of my list. I mean sure you aint out there wining and dining girls cause well lets face it you have no clue what wine is your too busy drinking red bull for your all night game sessions.

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Oh ya this is totally directed at someone hahah who was all Bree I can spoil you just give me a chance! Umm ok lets!

His idea of spoiling me was taking me to a video game store and asking me to help pick out a game system for my house. Umm sorry do these freshly manicure nails look like they belong on a controller? NOPE

But tell you what my fingers can control really well a guy like you once they are on your cock and then your wallet. See I figure what the fuck you wanna spoil me in a store that is not the one I choose then fine.

Let the game system picking begin. Then games. Then oh so cute stuffies to put next to the tv. And then mugs. I must of had him blow 2 grand on shit I will never use. I must admit it was a fun wallet drain knowing he was opening that wallet and burning up his credit carding thinking he was getting with this bratty domme princess. haha Loser!

He was getting a massive hardon in the store. Ok well massive in geek land. He was near drooling with every item I tossed on the counter. Haha. All the shit is still in boxes at my door. He wanted to come in and set it up but I basically slammed the door in his face. Drool over that fucker!

Maybe next time he will take me clothes shopping and buy me shit I actually can use. Till then he can stay in the hallway.

So who out there knows how to treat a bratty phone sex princess? Like honestly knows how to treat them? Cause I am so over fucking due for some spoiling.

Just ask for Bree when you call in.

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Fat Phone Sex Girlfriend Trisha Loves to Cheat

Oh silly boy! Some how you thought me being a fat girl would stop me from cheating. Well watch my chubby belly jiggle while I laugh at the most hilarious thing ever. For this fat phone sex girlfriend has been and will continue to cheat on your limp dick ass.

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Yes I know I promised you a life of loyalty and what ever bullshit but that was before I found out that you really suck in bed. Those stories you told me about how amazing a lover you were. How everyone of your old girlfriends were left quivering in bed. Please they were probably hoping to shake themselves into an orgasm.

The reason they cheated on you was simply to be satisfied. You thought some how finding a plump girl like me would be “safe”. You wouldnt have to worry about leaving me at home at night while you went out with your guy friends. Oh well that dear friend of your who suddenly cant attend guy’s poker night cause he is busy with some mystery girl. Yup you guessed it. He is banging my fat pussy.

Sure I should of dropped your ass first but just the thought you were behind my back saying your fat phone sex girlfriend wouldnt cheat on you was just too funny. I had to stay around. Plus knowing you came home to a fresh cream pie in my plump cunt, well that just sent me over the orgasmic edge to be honest.

Love to tell you all the dirty details of who I have been fucking behind your back. Better yet who you have tasted from between my legs.

Just ask for Trisha when you call.

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Gang Bang Phone Sex Fantasy with Princess Bree

The other day was watching some super cheesy gang bang porn and it got me to thinking its been a bit since this bratty princess had a gang bang phone sex call. Now I am not thinking about me taking a bunch of dicks cause as fun as that is. *yawn* it can get boring right quick.

What I am thinking is YOU be my little gang bang whore. Yup! Now we can do it down and dirty where its just you and some dicks slapping you in the face making you eat as much cum as humanly possible.

OR.

Dress you up to be a naughty fucking street walker and then toss you into a sea of cum filled throbbing cocks. Either way works for me really just as long as your the bitch in this gang bang phone sex fantasy getting their orifices filled in jizz.

Yes I know your going but Bree I dont have bi curious tendencies. Like I give a rats ass whether you have craved cock or not. You have craved a room full of men right? So instead of a hot chick they bang you. Makes it more interesting for me and really that is what its about.

You just need to figure out will I be dressed pretty or will I let them see my tighty whites. I know so many decisions. So start thinking about it and give me a call.

Just ask for Bree the bratty princess of your dreams.

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Period Play Phone Sex with Nasty Slut Devon

Fellow Phone Sex Deviants Hello. My body seems to know when the moon is full for that is when I always seem to get my period. Most woman shy away from talking about such things in mix company but really we all attended sex ed or health class in high school. Those drawn out hours spent learning about each others bodies hoping we would get to see something more than just a diagram. Well if your a freak like me you were hoping.

I have one friend who will not discuss her period in mix company. So the freaks amongst the group will sit there and say we are on our rag, Aunt flo is visiting, have a Royal Flush to get a rise out of her. You know when she blushes she is riding the crimson wave herself.

I completely feel sorry for her boyfriend for you know he is blocked off from down there all together.

I must be some sick bitch for I am hornier than fuck. Well we have established I am a nasty phone bitch. But when I am on my rag I am one fucking horny bitch. I need cock and I need it bad. Every one of my boyfriends have slide their dicks into my red lined pussy and felt that extra lubrication that monthly visitor brought.

Shit it didn’t end with just some typical fucking hell no. Being a sick nasty bitch course it went father than that. But if your a sick deviant you can well imagine how far it would go.

So if the moon is full recommend come finding me for some period play phone sex. I know I am more than ready to have some fun.

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Ask for Devon Smith

 

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Small Penis Humiliation Phone Sex with Princess Bree

bratty teen phone sex bitchSee this pussy? Oh right no you fucking can’t cause my panties are in the way. If you didnt have such a small penis then I would of dropped my panties like yesterdays… Well really I have no clue what I would of done all that matters is I’m not dropping them.

See thats the joy of you being a small dick loser, panties will always hid one’s precious pussy. Giving you zero access to it. Even with a fat wallet you cant pay your way into a princess pussy. Haha! Go on and try but really we both know this small penis humiliation phone sex call is gonna end up like all your other dates you jerking off saying your not worthy haha.

Oh you dont say that when you wank? Well best start practicing cause MrSPH I am gonna make sure you have a bunch of loser mantras to say for your jerk off sessions. Cause really the reason your calling me is entertain this phone sex princess. So might as well make you a complete loser right off the bat with some fucked up jerk off routines haha. Yup welcome to Princess Bree’s small penis humiliation phone sex call! Your life and masturbation habits will never be the same.

Give your new hot princess a call tonight. You know your just super eager too.

Ask for Bree.

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Panty Boy Phone Sex Fun with Courtney

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Cute panties right?

Sexy as hell but are you really admiring how amazing they look on my ass? Or are you thinking how fucking hot they would feel against your bottom?

Ya I know your a panty boy. There is no mistaking it. Cant really say what the little token triggers were that gave it away but there is always just that certain something when your around a panty boy.

Those tells become far more evident when engaging in a panty boy phone sex fantasy. Oh dont act all surprised. Your just like the others running to phone sex to unleash your secret fetish desires with someone who wont completely judge you. I mean there is a tinge when you want us to humiliate you. Got to say I may have a slight bias since I dated a panty boy for a lil bit so that does sway me some on my opinion.

Nah I am not about to tell you more fun to let you just find out yourself which way this sexy blonde leans on the topic of men in panties. Yup that will get your cheeks blushing when y ou call. Haha. Oh and the dispatcher has no clue either.

What do you say time for some panty boy phone sex fun? I know its been a bit since I toyed with a guy in panties.

Ask for Courtney definitely looking forward to some naughty play time with a phone sex panty boy. Remember anything goes!

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Castration Phone Sex Fantasy with Goddess Shiva

Something about fall that puts me in a mood. Some would say its the changing of the leaves. The smell of the fireplaces clinging to the foggy nights. Honestly, its none of these things. More its the decay that rises up from the gutters with all the fall leaves. The stench of death.

This is far from me being all macabre for those that know me know I am a dark spirit by nature. Lets just call it one of my naturally endearing qualities. Anyways what has me reflecting in such a manor?

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Very simple with the onslaught of Halloween decorations within the stores it has me craving a castration phone sex fantasy. There were some delightful candle holders I discovered within some trinket store that had me thinking someones useless man dangles would be awesome in them. The jars were various colors and sizes which meant that I could be quite busy with my sharp blade.

Yes I know most are finding the idea of being castrated disgusting but good news I am not interested in chatting with you. I am only interested in attracting men who know they are useless fucks and would be of better use to society as a eunuch.

So if you are a man who is craving to have a powerful woman remove your nuts via a castration phone sex fantasy then you really need to give me a call. For I am in the need to butcher your nut sac. I would say I would be gentle but we both know this isnt something to do easily.

Ask for Mistress Shiva the Goddess of Castration.

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Be a Cock Sucker for Devon

What can I say other than the sick and perverted have been out tonight. Well you perverse men have a way of finding me most nights anyways but seems tonight was one of those nights where anything and everything was on you mind. I really dont mind for I enjoy delving into the dark recesses of your mind to explore those taboos you dare not share with anyone. Lucky for you I share similar thoughts and taboos.

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Tonight I was talking with James and his love affair for cock, his own as well as others. He has a deep need to suck a cock and well given half the chance he would gladly wrap his slender lips around a throbbing piece of man meat. Can’t say I would blame him for I too love to suck a man off.
James has gone so far as to go out and buy one of those dildos that will attach itself to the wall so he can put it about cock height and pretend he is at a glory hole and suck it all back. See told you he was pretty kinky.
Well James must say as always I loved exploring your twisted fantasies when it comes to the bisexual realm. Though it would be rather interesting if we take your cock sucking phone sex desires and have you actually venture to a road side glory hole. You know exactly the ones I am talking about, Mr Rest Area Cum Guzzler Wanna Be. Oh oops that was to be our little secret? Looks like your gonna have to go out and become one now.
Are you a wanna be glory hole fag? Pick up the phone tell the dispatcher you wanna be Devon Smith’s cock sucker tonight! She will set you right up.

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